Regrets- Revised Copy
By: Erin Gardner
As I look down at my son, I have no regrets, but I know I have ruined the chances at having the best life we could have. The boy has no father, and I no husband. When I was a child I imagined having the perfect wedding with the perfect husband and then having a child when we were ready. Unfortunately this dream of mine was now impossible.
When I started high school I was naive. I looked at the older girls, saw their makeup and their cell phones. I thought that they were so cool. Their hair was perfect and they were beautiful. I wanted to be like them. Later I found out being like them wasn’t all it seemed to be.
I had two best friends in grade nine, Amy and
Kelsey. Amy was tall and gangly with frizzy red hair and bright green eyes, she
was sweet and I felt I could tell her anything. Kelsey was short and had brown
straight hair, she was very smart and sometimes got mad at mine and Amy’s silly
antics. I was average height, with thin straight blonde hair, I was pretty
small around the waist. My eyes were blue with flecks of green in them. My eyes
were my favourite feature. We mostly kept to ourselves and tried to avoid
embarrassing situations. One day at school I asked Amy and Kelsey, "What
do you think it would be like?"
"What?" Kelsey wondered.
"To sit with the popular kids," I said. I looked over at them. They were laughing at something one of them said over in the corner of the cafeteria.
"It doesn’t seem all that it cracks up to be, I like just hanging with you guys. Besides they are always having parties, and doing drugs aren’t they?" Amy said.
"Yeah... maybe you’re right." I mumbled, but I still wondered. I stared at Derek. He was the hottest guy at school, super athletic, and just all around amazing. He had spiky blonde hair, and blue eyes that could make you melt. I will never forget the day I met him.
"What?" Kelsey wondered.
"To sit with the popular kids," I said. I looked over at them. They were laughing at something one of them said over in the corner of the cafeteria.
"It doesn’t seem all that it cracks up to be, I like just hanging with you guys. Besides they are always having parties, and doing drugs aren’t they?" Amy said.
"Yeah... maybe you’re right." I mumbled, but I still wondered. I stared at Derek. He was the hottest guy at school, super athletic, and just all around amazing. He had spiky blonde hair, and blue eyes that could make you melt. I will never forget the day I met him.
I was at the convenience store across the
street from school. I was buying a bottle of water but I didn’t have enough
money. He stepped up with his gleaming smile and dreamy eyes and said he would
cover the rest. I thanked him and we walked back to the school together. I had
recently begged my mom for a cell phone and she had complied. He asked for my
number, and the rest of the day my friends and I were squealing about it.
We started texting back and forth every night. I started coming to his football practices and games after school, neglecting my homework. My grades had dropped. I hardly ever saw Amy and Kelsey. I started wearing makeup and dressing in tight fitting clothing. At lunch Derek and I made out on the bleachers. I didn’t care. I was in love, or at least I thought I was.
We started texting back and forth every night. I started coming to his football practices and games after school, neglecting my homework. My grades had dropped. I hardly ever saw Amy and Kelsey. I started wearing makeup and dressing in tight fitting clothing. At lunch Derek and I made out on the bleachers. I didn’t care. I was in love, or at least I thought I was.
Derek invited me to come to a party with him
on a Friday night. I was hesitant, because I wouldn’t know anyone there except
for Derek, but he promised he would introduce me to people. I had never drank
alcohol before but he promised he would take care of me. When we got to the
party, the music was booming in my ears, making every bone in my body vibrate
with every beat. People were dancing and making out like wild animals. I
recognized a few people from school, but no one I talked to. People everywhere
were holding cups and laughing. There were a few couches, that looked old and
beat up and there was beer bottles and spilled drinks all over the floor.
People were yelling to talk to each other through the loud music. I clung to
Derek, but he shook me off and went off with his buddies. I stood alone unsure
of what to do. He came back a few minutes later and shoved a drink in my hand.
I drank it, and he gave me another, and another and soon I was feeling blurry
and my head was pounding. Derek took me to a bedroom and started rubbing my
back. I thought he was trying to make me feel better but then he was touching
my breasts and kissing me. I liked it at first but then it was going too far. I
wasn’t ready to lose my virginity yet. He took my top off and I started pushing
him away, but he was too strong. He pulled me in close and told me it was okay.
He said I owed him a favour. I wanted to be accepted by him, so I let him. It
was painful at first, but after awhile I was enjoying it. Then I remembered. We
weren’t using any protection. I slid my body out from under him but it was too
late, he had ejaculated inside me. He kissed me and got up.
"Thanks, babe." he said. I just
laid there. I put my clothes on and went home. I wanted my mom, my friends and
my old life back. I curled up in my bed and cried.
Now that I look back on that night, I realised how stupid I was. Derek didn’t love me; he was just using me for sex. Derek stopped talking to me and when I told him I was pregnant, he didn’t care. He said he only wanted me because he wanted to try having sex with a virgin. I was hurt. My friends didn’t want to talk to me after I had abandoned them for a guy. But I think they felt sorry for me and we started talking again, but it was never like it used to be. Luke was born, and I didn’t regret keeping him but I regretted my timing and his father. I thought a lot about what I would say to Luke when he wondered who his dad was. My mom and dad were supportive and they helped me raise him. But I couldn’t finish high school and I had a job at the local convenience store, which didn’t pay well. One day Derek came in to buy a bottle of water. He had a young girl with him, I looked in to her eyes and wished that I could send her a message to tell her to run from him as fast as she could, but I knew just like me, there was no hope for her.
Now that I look back on that night, I realised how stupid I was. Derek didn’t love me; he was just using me for sex. Derek stopped talking to me and when I told him I was pregnant, he didn’t care. He said he only wanted me because he wanted to try having sex with a virgin. I was hurt. My friends didn’t want to talk to me after I had abandoned them for a guy. But I think they felt sorry for me and we started talking again, but it was never like it used to be. Luke was born, and I didn’t regret keeping him but I regretted my timing and his father. I thought a lot about what I would say to Luke when he wondered who his dad was. My mom and dad were supportive and they helped me raise him. But I couldn’t finish high school and I had a job at the local convenience store, which didn’t pay well. One day Derek came in to buy a bottle of water. He had a young girl with him, I looked in to her eyes and wished that I could send her a message to tell her to run from him as fast as she could, but I knew just like me, there was no hope for her.
Regrets- Draft
By: Erin Gardner
By: Erin Gardner
As I look down at my son, I have no
regrets, but I know I have ruined the chances at having the best life we could
have. The boy has no father, and I no husband. When I was a child I imagined
having the perfect wedding with the perfect husband and then having a child
when we were ready. Unfortunately this dream of mine was now impossible.
When I started high school I was naive. I looked at the older girls; saw their makeup and their cell phones. I thought that they were so cool. Their hair was perfect and they were beautiful. I wanted to be like them. Later I found out being like them wasn’t all it seemed to be. I had two best friends in grade nine, Amy and Kelsey. Amy was tall and gangly with frizzy red hair and bright green eyes, she was sweet and I felt I could tell her anything. Kelsey was short and had brown straight hair, she was very smart and sometimes got mad at mine and Amy’s silly antics. I was average height, with thin straight blonde hair, I was pretty small around the waist. My eyes were blue with flecks of green in them. My eyes were my favourite feature. We mostly kept to ourselves and tried to avoid embarrassing situations. One day at school I asked Amy and Kelsey, "What do you think it would be like?"
"What?" Kelsey wondered.
"To sit with the popular kids," I said. I looked over at them. They were laughing at something one of them said over in the corner of the cafeteria.
"It doesn’t seem all that it cracks up to be, I like just hanging with you guys. Besides they are always having parties, and doing drugs aren’t they?" Amy said. "Yeah... maybe you’re right." I mumbled, but I still wondered. I stared at Derek. He was the hottest guy at school, super athletic, and just all around amazing. He had spiky blonde hair, and blue eyes that could make you melt. I will never forget the day I met him. I was at the convenience store across the street from school. I was buying a bottle of water but I didn’t have enough money. He stepped up with his gleaming smile and dreamy eyes and said he would cover the rest. I thanked him and we walked back to the school together. I had recently begged my mom for a cell phone and she had complied. He asked for my number, and the rest of the day my friends and I were squealing about it.
We started texting back and forth every night. I started coming to his football practices and games after school, neglecting my homework and my grades dropped. I hardly ever saw Amy and Kelsey. I started wearing makeup and dressing in tight fitting clothing. At lunch Derek and I made out on the bleachers. I didn’t care, I was in love. Or at least I thought I was.
Derek invited me to come to a party with him on a Friday night. I was hesitant, because I wouldn’t know anyone there except for Derek, but he promised he would introduce me to people. I had never drank alcohol before but he promised he would take care of me. When we got to the party, the music was booming in my ears, making every bone in my body vibrate with every beat. People were dancing and making out like wild animals. I recognized a few people from school, but no one I talked to. People everywhere were holding cups and laughing. There were a few couches, that looked old and beat up and there was beer bottles and spilled drinks all over the floor. People were yelling to talk to each other through the loud music. I clung to Derek, but he shook me off and went off with his buddies. I stood alone unsure of what to do. He came back a few minutes later and shoved a drink in my hand. I drank it, and he gave me another, and another and soon I was feeling blurry and my head was pounding. Derek took me to a bedroom and started rubbing my back. I thought he was trying to make me feel better but then he was touching my breasts and kissing me. I liked it at first but then it was going too far. I wasn’t ready to lose my virginity yet. He took my top off and I started pushing him away, but he was too strong. He pulled me in close and told me it was okay. He said I owed him a favour. I wanted to be accepted and popular so I let him. It was painful at first, but after awhile I was enjoying it. Then I remember. We weren’t using any protection. I slid my body out from under him but it was too late, he had ejaculated inside me. He kissed me and got up. "Thanks, babe." he said. I just layed there. I put my clothes on and went home. I wanted my mom, my friends and my old life back. I curled up in my bed and cried.
Now that I look back on that night, I realised how stupid I was. Derek didn’t love me, he was just using me for sex. Derek stopped talking to me and when I told him I was pregnant, he didn’t care. He said he only wanted me because he wanted to try having sex with a virgin. I was hurt. My friends didn’t want to talk to me after I had abandoned them for a guy. But I think they felt sorry for me and we started becoming friends again. Luke was born, and I didn’t regret keeping him but I regretted my timing and his father. I thought a lot about what I would say to Luke when he wondered who his dad was. My mom and dad were supportive and they helped me raise Luke. But I couldn’t finish high school and I had a job at the local convenience store which didn’t pay well. One day Derek came in to buy a bottle of water. He had a young girl with him, I looked in to her eyes and wished that I could send her a message to tell her to run from him as fast as she could, but I knew just like me, there was no hope for her.
When I started high school I was naive. I looked at the older girls; saw their makeup and their cell phones. I thought that they were so cool. Their hair was perfect and they were beautiful. I wanted to be like them. Later I found out being like them wasn’t all it seemed to be. I had two best friends in grade nine, Amy and Kelsey. Amy was tall and gangly with frizzy red hair and bright green eyes, she was sweet and I felt I could tell her anything. Kelsey was short and had brown straight hair, she was very smart and sometimes got mad at mine and Amy’s silly antics. I was average height, with thin straight blonde hair, I was pretty small around the waist. My eyes were blue with flecks of green in them. My eyes were my favourite feature. We mostly kept to ourselves and tried to avoid embarrassing situations. One day at school I asked Amy and Kelsey, "What do you think it would be like?"
"What?" Kelsey wondered.
"To sit with the popular kids," I said. I looked over at them. They were laughing at something one of them said over in the corner of the cafeteria.
"It doesn’t seem all that it cracks up to be, I like just hanging with you guys. Besides they are always having parties, and doing drugs aren’t they?" Amy said. "Yeah... maybe you’re right." I mumbled, but I still wondered. I stared at Derek. He was the hottest guy at school, super athletic, and just all around amazing. He had spiky blonde hair, and blue eyes that could make you melt. I will never forget the day I met him. I was at the convenience store across the street from school. I was buying a bottle of water but I didn’t have enough money. He stepped up with his gleaming smile and dreamy eyes and said he would cover the rest. I thanked him and we walked back to the school together. I had recently begged my mom for a cell phone and she had complied. He asked for my number, and the rest of the day my friends and I were squealing about it.
We started texting back and forth every night. I started coming to his football practices and games after school, neglecting my homework and my grades dropped. I hardly ever saw Amy and Kelsey. I started wearing makeup and dressing in tight fitting clothing. At lunch Derek and I made out on the bleachers. I didn’t care, I was in love. Or at least I thought I was.
Derek invited me to come to a party with him on a Friday night. I was hesitant, because I wouldn’t know anyone there except for Derek, but he promised he would introduce me to people. I had never drank alcohol before but he promised he would take care of me. When we got to the party, the music was booming in my ears, making every bone in my body vibrate with every beat. People were dancing and making out like wild animals. I recognized a few people from school, but no one I talked to. People everywhere were holding cups and laughing. There were a few couches, that looked old and beat up and there was beer bottles and spilled drinks all over the floor. People were yelling to talk to each other through the loud music. I clung to Derek, but he shook me off and went off with his buddies. I stood alone unsure of what to do. He came back a few minutes later and shoved a drink in my hand. I drank it, and he gave me another, and another and soon I was feeling blurry and my head was pounding. Derek took me to a bedroom and started rubbing my back. I thought he was trying to make me feel better but then he was touching my breasts and kissing me. I liked it at first but then it was going too far. I wasn’t ready to lose my virginity yet. He took my top off and I started pushing him away, but he was too strong. He pulled me in close and told me it was okay. He said I owed him a favour. I wanted to be accepted and popular so I let him. It was painful at first, but after awhile I was enjoying it. Then I remember. We weren’t using any protection. I slid my body out from under him but it was too late, he had ejaculated inside me. He kissed me and got up. "Thanks, babe." he said. I just layed there. I put my clothes on and went home. I wanted my mom, my friends and my old life back. I curled up in my bed and cried.
Now that I look back on that night, I realised how stupid I was. Derek didn’t love me, he was just using me for sex. Derek stopped talking to me and when I told him I was pregnant, he didn’t care. He said he only wanted me because he wanted to try having sex with a virgin. I was hurt. My friends didn’t want to talk to me after I had abandoned them for a guy. But I think they felt sorry for me and we started becoming friends again. Luke was born, and I didn’t regret keeping him but I regretted my timing and his father. I thought a lot about what I would say to Luke when he wondered who his dad was. My mom and dad were supportive and they helped me raise Luke. But I couldn’t finish high school and I had a job at the local convenience store which didn’t pay well. One day Derek came in to buy a bottle of water. He had a young girl with him, I looked in to her eyes and wished that I could send her a message to tell her to run from him as fast as she could, but I knew just like me, there was no hope for her.
Reflection
I chose
this story also because I felt that I could improve it. It is also what I feel to
be one of the best-written stories I did in this course. I edited a few
spelling and spacing errors and added in some more description. This piece was
meant for teens to read especially females. I think that it is more appropriate
for older teens say 16+ because of some of the content (sexual intercourse).It is a good example that teenage girls could learn from. I feel like as girls we jump to whoever will love us and we want to do whatever we can to make them happy. I think people could learn from this story. I
think this piece helped me grow as a reader especially because I had never
written fiction that was so serious; also I usually like to write my fiction
based on a true story.
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